Curse

IlikeGW · Aug 17, 2005, 05:47 PM // 17:47

How To Deify A Game Company

by IlikeGW

I've noticed in these strange modern times, a lot of youngsters don't show the level of respect for their elders, and for those who perform services for them, that they should. This is a sad thing indeed, but maybe it's time we thought about how we can help. Maybe the meatheads never learned how to deal with a game company before. Consider these the commandments you abide by when you purchase a game, meatheads:

The 10 Commandments

1. The Company you bought a game from is the One Power that brought you out of the lands of despair in life.

2. Thou shall have no other games of other Companies, those others creating games are false idols and should be derided.

3. Thou must never use the name of The Company in vain.

4. Remember the Patch Day, and keep it holy.

5. Honor thy devs. And if thou feels like it, thy CR's.

6. Thou shall declare Death against all who question or insult or fall short in worship of thy Lord, The Company.

7. If thou cannot find them to kill them as they are on the Internets, thou shall deride the Enemies of thy Company as Whiners.

8. Thou shall start posting the word Whiner in every thread, to make sure everyone knows thou loves only The Company.

9. Thou shall start Wars on Messageboards to get Whiners banned. The Company smiles upon this.

10. If thy Company screws thou in the long run, and thou looks like A Noob before the Whiners, thou shall plug thy ears to escape their PWN. Henceforth thou will live in a magical fantasy world in thy own mind, as thou is used to doing anyway.

Amen.